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 Humor
 
 

The Best Christmas Pageant Ever
Contributed by Doc Summers
 

My husband and I had been happily
Married (most of the time) for five years
But we hadn't been blessed with a baby.

I decided to do some serious praying and promised God
That if he would give us a child,
I would be a perfect mother…I’d love the baby with all my heart
And raise the child with His word As my guide.

God answered my prayers
And blessed us with a son.

The next year God blessed us
With another son.

The following year,
He blessed us with
Yet another son.

The year after that we
Were blessed with a daughter.

My husband thought we'd been blessed right into poverty.
We now had four children,
And the oldest was only four years old.

I learned never to ask God
For anything unless I meant it.
As a priest once told me,
" If you pray for rain, make sure you carry an umbrella."

I began reading a few verses
Of the Bible to the children each day as they lay in their cribs.

I was off to a good start.
God had entrusted me with four children.
I didn't want to disappoint Him.

I tried to be patient the day
The children smashed two dozen eggs on
The kitchen floor searching for baby chicks.

I tried to be understanding...
When they started a hotel for
Homeless frogs in the spare bedroom,
Although it took me nearly two hours
To catch all twenty-three frogs.

When my daughter poured
Ketchup all over herself and
Rolled up in a blanket to see
How it felt to be a hot dog,
I tried to see the humor Rather than the mess.

In spite of changing over twenty-five thousand diapers,
Never eating a hot meal
Never sleeping for more than thirty minutes at a time,
I still thank God daily for my children.

While I couldn't keep my promise to be a perfect mother -
(I didn't even come close...)
I did keep my promise
To raise them in the Word of God.

My proudest moment came
During the children's
Christmas pageant.

My daughter was playing Mary,
Two of my sons were shepherds
And my youngest son was a wise man.
This was their moment to shine.

My five-year-old, a shepherd had practiced his line,
" We found the babe wrapped In swaddling clothes."
But he was nervous and said,
" The baby was wrapped
In wrinkled clothes."

A wrestling match broke out
Between Mary and the shepherd
This was stopped by an angel,
Who bent her halo and lost
Her left wing.

I slouched a little lower
In my seat when Mary
Dropped the doll representing
Baby Jesus, and it bounced
Down the aisle crying,
"Mama-mama."

Mary grabbed the doll,
Wrapped it back up and held it tightly as
The wise men arrived.

My other son stepped forward
Wearing a bathrobe
And a paper crown,
Knelt at the manger
And announced,

"We are the three wise men,
And we are bringing gifts
Of gold, common sense and fur."

The congregation
Dissolved into laughter,
And the pageant
Got a standing ovation.
"My children are my pride
And my joy and my greatest Blessing,"
I said as I dug
Through my purse for an aspirin!



 
 

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863.688.4502
Fax:   863.603.4659
Email:   communications@ teamallsaints.org
Mail:   209 South Iowa Avenue
Lakeland, Florida 33801
Address:   202 South Massachusetts Avenue
Lakeland, Florida 33801